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| "就決定了 我們要用微笑面對
就算惡夢包圍整個世界 請別走開 愛一直在你身邊"
-盧廣仲
it's decided: let's face it with a smile.
even if nightmares swallow the world, don't walk away--
love is always here with you.
don't go looking for it everywhere;
love never left you.
it's hard, but let's try to trust it. | | |
| 再見勾勾
盧廣仲
作曲：盧廣仲
填詞：威廉霍華
怎麼這麼奇怪 你說甚麼我都high
wo wo ho ho 很奇怪
＊你憂鬱了起來 寂寞時的坦白
我依然覺得被你寵愛
深藍色的天空 當你試著放輕鬆
我也覺得好輕鬆
你不知道 我也有我的煩惱
再見的時候 我想要＊
我要看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像水手呼喚最心愛的自由
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾勾手
朋友怎麼做一次就懂
看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像郵差呼喊你的掛號信呦
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾勾手 變成更好的我
下次還要記得再見 再擁抱我
Repeat＊
我要看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像水手呼喚最心愛的自由
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾勾手
朋友怎麼做 你一定懂
看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像郵差呼喊你的掛號信呦
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾勾手 變成更好的我
下次還要記得再見 再擁抱
我要看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像水手呼喚最心愛的自由
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾勾手
好朋友怎麼做 不要再害羞
看到你在遠方大聲呼喊著我
就像隊友傳來最關鍵的一球
go go boy go go girl
就讓我們勾一勾手
變成更好的我
下次還要記得 再見再燃燒
go go go go
再來一次 | | |
| just how close was i?
how close was i? really. things i could control but was and am too scared to touch. things i know deep down can be changed with my hands. things that are "not meant to be" and things that are "meant to be". now i'm too old and too muddled to draw the line.
or too old and too muddled to believe.
distance far and near, words and smiles genuine and forced... differences all so infinitesimal.
~
maybe i need to stop going to filmfests alone.
~
i jus realized, listening to jazz has never been the same as listening to jazz when in the band rehearsal. the best music i've heard happened in that band room, in the magical misty mornings and the nostalgic setting suns.
the magic didn't ever fade. i'm jus wandering farther and farther from the band room.
i'm getting almost as old as ms dreger now...
| | |
| "Silent night~ holy night~"
for some reason this xmas song came to mind tonight. maybe this is what fatigue does to people sometimes lol even tho it's friggin early october, i have this feeling of being on xmas eve, and i'm cuddling inside while it's snowing heavily outside.
"Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace~"
when's xmas eve gonna come? i wanna fall asleep peacefully like baby jesus too...
wouldn't it be nice if i fall asleep tonight and wake up to xmas day?
...it's gonna be another long, cold winter it seems.
| | |
| Sept08-Sept09. so long. but it went by so fast.
I started to see some pattern throughout this year. things started to make sense, but not painlessly. but pain, really is the "breaking of the shell that encloses our understanding". who would've thought this tongue-in-the-cheek quote from a fun little animation series became the most succinct summary of my experience this past little while.
Sept-Mar was a huge cloud. i started my first year at a new chapter of my life completely clouded by unrelenting reminiscence of a dream called mcdreamy. though ridiculous in hindsight, i can't bring myself to doubt my sincerity a tiny bit. i now know that it didn't have to become a "dream". i only made it turn out that way myself 'cause i wasn't living in the present--i was living in the past, living in the near future, living in the faraway future, all but the present. if i could choose over again, failure is a better choice than a hypothesis and a lifelong regret.
now only if on top of learning to choose properly, i learn the courage to choose properly as well...
Mar was a bit of a turning point, with the help of my friend. first god brought me your sister then he brought you as well--makes me worried my luck is gonna run out... your friendship to me was so real, i started to believe again, and started to look up from myself for the first time in that last half a year.
i still can't do it well, but i'm trying everyday: seeing beyond myself, opening myself up to the processes that govern the universe: change.
just like that sunset. 5 years later on this day, it's not the same anymore. it can't be the same. nothing stays the same, so why should the sunset? or my memory? or you and me? what i saw this weekend, was not a gorgeous, awe-inspiring sunset like the one 5 years ago. it was a very ordinary sunset--a few orange/pink-ish clouds in the unaffected sky. yet i felt more inside of me watching this sunset compared to any of the previous 4. my memory of you and how i relate with you will continue to evolve with time and life circumstances.
thank you, my friend, for being there. for being the polaris, for being the spring breeze that always makes me glad i'm alive. thanks for actually remembering this day. I was clearly still kinda living in japan, but i'm here now. i'm present now.
finally, my teacher, thank you for showing me the way. r.i.p.
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[Come full Circle (epi28)]